My blood pressure didn't come down, I developed protein in my urine, I had the mother of all headaches, my kidneys and liver stopped working, so I had an emergency c-section to save both our lives.
I have very little memory of what happened in what order, I was dissociated throughout. I remember them telling us that if he didn't cry that there would be a likelihood he needed oxygen for a while, but when he came out, he let out a really big roar, so big we nearly called him Rory.
I first got to look at him through the incubator doors 12 hours later, we studied each other's faces and I tried to take him in. I felt so alone and unsure, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was such a whirlwind, it didn't feel like I had a chance to come up for air. But when I saw him, when I held him, I felt able to breathe a little deeper.
The NICU experience changed me forever and it gave me a fire to want to help others feel less alone in their journeys.
Hi I’m Georgina, Co-Founder and Creative Director of Miracle Moon. This is me cuddling our daughter, Margot for the first time. Ten whole days after we met her fleetingly in an operating theatre after a doppler at a growth scan showed reversed end-diastolic flow.
We went for our third, and what was expected to be the final growth scan before being discharged back to midwife care, at 11:00 on Thursday 5th September 2019. It was when the Consultant asked me when I’d last eaten that I began to panic, and sure enough by 2pm I was walking down to theatre to deliver our baby at 31+1.
“She’s breathing” the nurse said as they whisked our newborn away and I caught a glimpse of the top of her hat.
We’d had a baby girl; that’s how we found out.
That was the first of many major moments of parenthood that would be stolen or changed irreparably by NICU. I just didn’t know how much it would change me as a person too.